There was an owle woman called Flo.
Who drank forty-three bottles of BO
She vomitted and shit, And thought that was it,
And now she's the size of BIG JOE.

She married an young fella called Fla
Who used to get up on her ma
She looked like Rudd Hullit
Until was bulled by the Bullet
An then she said "no ta"

Her ass was all sore with infection
For the Bullet he wore no protection
He got her one day
And confessed was gay
And she headed off to Bombay

There she was met by a stallion
Yes, His name was young Hallian
He could not satisfy her
He said she was a liar
But, said he had balls like a stallion.

The Mistress said not to be cunty
Go write an essay for Prunty
Tell him the crack
And I'll get on my back
And we'll do a wee 'dummy-dunty'

Teacher girl, Don't be a looney
Good luck, I'm off to see Rooney
With your ass in infection
I can't get an erection
And I'd rather be a cooney

And so he went off to New York
After bursting the head of the cork
On a bottle of Tonic
He flew supersonic
And arrived the very next day

So, he got a job doin fencin
From a young fella called Benson
He moved in with the Buckie Brigade
No more time for lemonade Just bo and bottles of Jem'son (half un's)